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The original Bullshit offering and still the most popular, the South Bank 'Tourist Trap' Tour runs from the steps of St Paul's. Behind the statue of Queen Anne. Any weather. Unless its really raining or there are leaves on the track. Tours take approx two hours to complete and finish at Trafalgar Square. 

Your tour guide will be wearing a flamboyant jacket or an ostentacious outfit (see below). You WILL find us. We promise. 


The tours are conducted at a reasonably brisk pace and this route involves steps (sorry). If you have accessibility issues please contact us in advance.


To book, please CLICK HERE.

This will take you to our bookings page on another site.

(You will need a paypal account. If this is a problem, just contact us.)

The Soutbank Tour

AKA the 'Tourist Trap'

There are 3 types of ticket available, Standard, Concession and Premium.

Standard; bog standard, run of the mill, ordinary and perfectly normal ticket.

Concession; For students, OAPS, unemployed people or anyone who feels more than usually put upon

Premium; This ticket costs more than a standard ticket and is only for our premium customers. You get the same experience that everyone else gets with one crucial difference. Throughout your tour, you can be certain that you are incontrovertibly premium.

You can also book a tour for any time on any day that suits you as long as there are at least 7 of you. Simply get in touch to arrange a private tour.

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